Asian-chested is not an oxymoron

Archive for the category “Health”


Was not very sexually active.

Then was.
Therefore, needed birth control.
Do not have a reliable enough schedule to be responsible with pills.
Therefore, alternative.
Walked into a clinic to ask about options, having read up on IUDs, rings, and implants.
I walked out forty minutes later with a Mirena in my uterus.

I’m really glad I didn’t know what it looked like before agreeing to stick it up my body. I knew what it did, just not that it looked like… that.

Insertion was painful but not unbearable. I let out a bunch of groans and calm vocalizations to let them know that HEY THERE I FEEL THAT.
and I kept feeling it for a few hours. They shot me in the butt with something–maybe a safety round of birth control since I later read up on the ideal dates for Mirena insertion and I was a couple days out of it.
It was a little over 350,000 won. That’s a bit over 280 US dollars, 255 euros, or 200 British pounds.
Spotting immediately following–they gave me a pantyliner.
They sent me to the pharmacy to pick up a day of pills. There I really started feeling it. Low, heavy, concentrated cramps right where they worked on, cold sweat and slight nausea. I was leaning back on the chair waiting for my prescription to be filled, and breathing slowly to try to avoid jarring and putting pressure on that part of my body.
I’d planned to walk home and run errands on the way. Usually, if I don’t walk, I bus. I couldn’t even do that, knowing the walk home from the bus stop. I took a taxi and must have looked like shit, because the taxi driver was being super nice-uncle-y.
“We’re almost there.”
“I think it’s a bit more tha-“
“I know, I mean you should wake up.”
He took me straight up to the lot.
“You should go in, take your medicine, and rest right away.”
Sometimes people are super sweet.
As soon as I dragged myself up the stairs (there was actual dragging here), I called up a friend and asked him to buy me porridge. Again, must have sounded like shit because he sounded worried and offered to help more. Whimpered my way to my door and inhaled two Advil right away. Lots of bloaty cramps and all that.
I tried some period-cramp methods. Hot tea-good. Hot water bottle-heavenly. Bed-no other place in the world would suffice. Also caught up on a football game. My underdog team winning helped immensely.
In perspective, though, my pain threshold is incredibly LOW. I suck at taking pain.
Second day. Mild, very very mild cramps resembling gas cramps.
Third day… I feel on top of the fucking world.
A month in: I’m happy knowing that I’m not going to get pregnant. But the constant spotting is a little annoying. I wanted to be one of those people who completely lost their periods. I do have my trusty Lunette, though, and I have some sea sponges on the way that I want to try out.
Several months in: Spotting went away after about two weeks. I had a short period, and stuck in the sea sponge in. Worked pretty well! More in-depth writings about the sea sponge to come (I promise). Amidst the mildest of mild anxiety episodes, the secure knowledge that I am protected from pregnancy is sweet, sweet comfort.

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